Push your goals to the limit so that even if you fail, you end up further than you could have ever imagined.

Almost nine months ago (April 2023), I planned to run a half marathon. I’m not sure where the idea came from, as I couldn’t run for more than 5 minutes straight. However, doing something so unlike who I thought I was gave me so much excitement. I used this excitement to drive me. Unfortunately, fear and discouragement were excitement’s ugly twin sisters.

This was as much of a mental challenge as it was physical. I would get upset with myself when I didn’t do my daily run or wake up early like I wanted to the night before. This quickly turned into insecurity and discouragement. This was when I started believing I couldn’t run the miles anyway, which led to me not wanting to run ever again. I didn’t want to feel the anxiety that overcame me. 

It took me two weeks to gain the courage to run four miles for the first time. The difference on this specific day was that I did not think about the number of miles I needed to run. I did not think about anything. I just put on my shoes and went outside, and I didn’t stop when I started running. Unfortunately, that simple success wasn’t enough. I felt that this mini-win was the furthest I would ever get. I didn’t believe I could run four miles again, and anything more than that was out of the question. This created another mental block, and this time, it stopped me for a while.

Four weeks went by without a single run. I went to the gym consistently, but I threw out the idea that I would run again, let alone a half marathon. This is when I realized, quite blatantly, I had an all-or-nothing mindset. 

At the beginning of June, my coworker mentioned that she started running. She was embarrassed that she could barely run a mile, and it reminded me of how I felt just a couple of months ago. It reminded me of the miles I have done and what it felt like to do something that seemed impossible. I talked with her about having started running not long ago, either, and how good it felt to get better. Talking with her reminded me of how proud I was of myself, and it made me want to feel that again.

I mentioned the half-marathon race I tried training for and how my plans crashed and burned. It was hard to mention. I was embarrassed that I got so excited knowing how hard it would be and still ended up quitting. I knew it wasn’t going to happen since the half-marathon date was coming up and I hadn’t run in a month. However, the idea came to me that my coworker could run something together. A smaller race, that is. We both lacked confidence in our physical abilities but wanted to prove to ourselves that we could do hard things. 

Although I had a weak mindset at this point, it seemed to have been overpowered by excitement once again. We looked at races going on in the area, and there was only one that fit our schedules. It was a 10K (6.2 miles), three weeks away. We thought that this was the perfect distance. It was far enough to push us, but not too physically challenging for beginners. We weren’t 100% convinced we could pull it off, but we typed in our credit cards and paid for our entry anyway. If our excitement didn’t keep us going, we hoped the money would. 

Training with a friend was 100% the way to go. It gave me the accountability I needed to get myself out of bed in the mornings and out of the house to run at night. We ran three times a week, for three weeks, with a set schedule I made. 

Some days we walked, some days we cut it short, and a couple of times we didn’t run at all. But no matter what, we always showed up for each other.

On our last run before the race, I had a major spike in anxiety. We were supposed to run 5 miles, and I had zero confidence that I could run it. I started to spiral when thinking about the 6.2 miles we needed to accomplish on race day (2 days later). We had walked at least 5 minutes on all of our long runs up to this point, so I didn’t believe this 10K was going to be any different. I thought that if we walked at any point, it wouldn’t be worth it. My weak mindset is coming back up once again.

It took almost 10 minutes of walking alongside my coworker to gain the courage to start. I was so scared of not running the full 5 miles that I didn’t want to start the run at all. It sounds silly, but my anxiety seemed to have halted me.

I’m grateful for my friend’s courage and faith in us when I didn’t have it. We ended up completing the five miles, taking only a .5mi walking break. It was my first time having a runner’s high; I felt on top of the world. It wasn’t until that moment that I really believed in my body. On my way home, I couldn’t stop smiling.  It was an uncommon feeling, but I felt so proud of myself.

Unfortunately, nothing that’s worth it comes easy. 

On race day, we showed up and realized we were extremely unprepared. Our first issue was that we showed up later than we should have. The second being that we didn’t have our required racing numbers. Our third and biggest problem was that we didn’t know where to get them. Then the race started. My anxiety was so high, and I didn’t know what to do or where to go for help. I was moments away from driving home. 

My coworker was such a blessing in this moment. She finished where I fell short once again. As I waited at the car, too anxious to move, she walked around until she found help. Seeing her come back holding our racing numbers, I knew I had to pull it together. I set aside my embarrassment, anxiety, and nerves to start the race.

The race was beautiful once we started. We ran through the back fields of eastern Idaho. The sun was out, but it was matched by a cool breeze. We ran on dirt roads split up by paved hills. In the last half mile, the sun started to warm us quickly, but we finished just as we started to tan. 

However, the best part was that there was not a single point in the race that I stopped walking. Even when my coworker got cramps and fell behind, I did not stop walking. She was never too far behind, and for the last few miles, we ran side by side.

This shouldn’t be surprising, but we did come in last place. The icing on the cake was that we didn’t know where the race finished. However, once we found the end, we ran across the finish line with big smiles and weak legs. 

There were many things I learned in these three weeks. How much strength a good friend can give, how important your mindset is, and how great our bodies are. I may not have completed the half marathon I set my eyes on, but this 10K was still something I never thought I could do. And maybe a half marathon is still in my future, but for now, I’m quite content.

It wasn’t just the strength of Isi that helped me, but also the strength of our combined faith.

There were a lot of prayers that were said in these three weeks, and when I crossed the finish line, they were answered.

Me: left

Isidora “Coworker”: Right